Core Power.

Last week I learned a very valuable lesson in my Yoga practice that I'd love to share with you. I learned that listening to your gut (literally) is far more rewarding than giving into the ego (duh, right?).

I know many of you might be rolling your eyes thinking "well of course!!!" And as always, these cliche notions are always easier said than done.

So last week, I couldn't feel my abdominal muscles (literally) and fell over with a huge SMACK! onto my head and back after attempting to do a handstand in the middle of the room. And this jarred me! It shook me way deeper than just the physical effects of falling on your head (headache, neck pain, stiff joints etc). My spirit was spooked...and I've been stalking this feeling ever since....

Upon my stalking, I know a few things for certain: I kicked up into handstand with confidence, felt that my legs were disengaged, felt my feet flailing, knew I needed to just draw my knees into my chest...but I couldn't. There was a gap of empty space where my hips should be connected to my core. I couldn't feel anything. And as is common with most "accidents" everything felt as if it was in slow motion, and I toppled over.

I kept asking myself afterwards, "why couldn't I just pull my damn knees into my chest instead of falling over and hurting myself?!?!" It seems so logical!!

The rest of the week I felt lost. I felt like a wandering ghost! Later on in the week, a student left during the middle of one of my classes. This had not happened to me yet in my 3 months of teaching, but I knew it was bound to happen as I've been told that Yoga teachers literally see everything in the Yoga room. She was packing up, and I asked her if she was ok, to which she guiltily replied "Oh yeah I just need to leave early," both of us knew that wasn't true but I mustered up a sweet smile and unlocked the door for her.

By the end of Thursday evening I felt as if someone had kicked me in the stomach...I guess I could say at least I was feeling something in my gut!

See the thing is, I know not to attach my self worth to a pose, to a class, to a student, to the money in our donation box after the class, but I have not been able to drop those attachments. There's a part of me that so desires to carry everyone in my Yoga classes on my shoulders. I want them to laugh, and I want them to smile, I want them to feel good...and when I decide to teach a deep hip-opening class I question changing it up in the middle of a sequence when the room gets so very silent...because it's intense, deep, work. Emotions will come up for them, and they're not always rainbows and sunshine!

But I am realizing this is my job. This is why I am here on this earth, and this is why I am teaching the style of Yoga that I do. It's my job to take students to intense places, its my job to take people to their edge and help them create the space for healing. And its my job to do this self work right along with them, so that when I fall on my face (or back of my head) I can tell them that there is a lesson there, that growth is coming, that this too shall pass. 

So I know that my ego got ahead of me. I know that I saw pictures of my comrades in beautiful wall-less handstands, and I know that I thought that being a great teacher meant being able to float up into a perfect wall-less inversion. And I guess I had to learn that in a not so pain-free way...literally! 

But what I also know now as I keep doing this work, is that sometimes the sweetest Yoga is connecting to your breath, fully savoring every inhale, and delighting in every exhale - in the simplest of poses. The sweetest Yoga is knowing what your journey is, and when to listen to your gut instinct. That may be waiting until the core get's stronger or more connected until you bid adieu to the wall; that may be coming into dolphin pose and skipping chaturranga when your shoulders are bothering you; and that may be taking core work on the wall when you're just too exhausted to do core work {off the wall} correctly .

Today, I'm still reflecting on why last week's events really affected me. While I'm searching, what you can count on from me in the coming days is plenty of core work. You see,  I'm on a mission to bridge the gap between my hips and my core - and I offer this to my students humbly. Together we'll practice; mending and breathing to create the space for deeper healing.

Moderation Nation

So I'm almost three months into teaching Yoga. I'm loving every nano second, every breath, every moment in my classes. Even the moments that bring up ethical questions, or that fluster me at first...I laugh later and - it makes me love what I do even more.

I get to teach people how to make space in their bodies; how to make space for healing, creativity, for themselves. I get to encourage them to use their breath, {prana} their life force, to get them through any situation. And I get to help them reconnect to their spirits...even if only in savasana.

Lately, though, as much as I love what I do...I've been tired. Drained really. Exhausted. I also have aches and pains I've never experienced before.  It dawned on me that I need to practice what I teach.

"listen to your body. practice in a way that feels good.

take the up level/down level that you need. 

do not compare. do not push.

drop the struggle."

I aim to practice daily so that I may be able to speak authentically from my mat in my classes.  I practice inversions and arm balances daily to give my students the clearest/ most precise demos. 

But I've been sore, I've been achey, and I've had grumpy out bursts with people who are close to me and don't deserve to take the brunt for my self-inflicted exhaustion. 

Moderation.  Yup, that's the one word that's been flashing in my mind like a Las Vegas Casino sign. As I took a few days off last week to do absolutely nothing but sleep. I realized (as much of a no-brainer as this may seem) that moderation is key for sustainability. In life. Period. 

A couple weeks ago, after my first  Forrest Yoga Mentorship weekend I was explaining to a fellow Yogi that I took a real easy - no arm balances, no inversions, no advanced expression of the poses - approach to my practice, and I aimed to feel good in all my poses. "I haven't felt that amazing in months!" I told her. "Karmen," she said, "That's connecting to your spirit, that's being present on your mat" 

Hmm, not only is moderation key for getting proper rest...it's also instrumental for progress and evolution. 

Currently, I'm also pretty strict about what fuel (aka FOOD) I nourish my body with. I'm pretty gluten and dairy free. And that feels pretty good in my body. But I'm also finding the joy in indulging every so often...without the guilt that is usually attached to it. There is definitely something to be said for NOT sticking to every dietary restriction of your meal plan. For NOT saying no to cake every time it's offered. And for letting yourself  "go" every once in a while. 

Balance is key and moderation is essential for our well being, for our mental sanity...and especially for the sake of our loved ones who we intend to keep around us for a while!

Take a moment to stop and do nothing every now and then. Or take the down-level in your practice. Do things that feel good. Enjoy a slice of cake and disrupt your routine! It may seem lazy, it may seem "indulgent," but it's not...you're actually living in the present moment.

Here are some fun recipes I enjoyed this week...Yin and Yang of the health spectrum in food. 

http://www.aspicyperspective.com/2010/05/farmstand-fresh.html

Fresh Strawberry Yogurt Cake

Ingredients:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
2 cups sugar
3 eggs
3 Tb. lemon juice, divided
Zest of 1 lemon
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour, divided
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
8 oz. plain or vanilla, Greek yogurt
12 oz. fresh strawberries, diced
1 cup powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease and flour a 10 inch Bundt pan (10-15 cup pan.) Sift together the 2 ¼ cups of flour, baking soda and salt. Mix in the lemon zest and set aside.
2. With an electric mixer, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in 1 Tb. lemon juice. Alternate beating in the flour mixture and the yogurt, mixing just until incorporated.
3. Toss the strawberries with the remaining ¼ cup of flour. Gently mix them into the batter.
4. Pour the batter into the Bundt pan. Place in the oven and reduce the temperature to 325 degrees F. Bake for 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.
5. Allow to cool at least 20 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. Once cooled whisk together the remaining 2 Tb. of lemon juice and the powdered sugar. Drizzle over the top of the cake.
6. NOTE: I've had a few questions on the texture of the batter in this cake. The consistency of the yogurt and the juiciness of the berries, greatly determined the consistency of the batter. Thick, (dryer) yogurt will produce a thicker batter, in which the berries won't sink to the bottom (top) of the cake as seen in the photos. Either way, it is a great cake--don't worry about the thickness of the batter.

Lemon Quinoa Cilantro Chickpea Salad

Adapted from: Ohsheglows

 

Ingredients:

1/2 C. dry quinoa

2 C. vegetable broth

1 can garbanzo beans (drained and rinsed)

1 c. cherry tomatoes cut in half

2 avocados diced

2 C. spinach

1 bunch cilantro

1/4 C. onion

2 small cloves garlic

For the dressing:

Juice of 2 lemons

zest of 1 lemon

2 tsp. dijon mustard

2 tsp. olive oil

1 tsp. agave nectar

1/2 tsp. cumin

dash of salt and pepper

Directions:

1. Make your quinoa first. Soak the quinoa in a pot in the veggie broth for about 15 minutes. After that, turn on the heat to medium high and let the quinoa come to a boil. Once it boils, reduce heat to medium/low and let quinoa simmer. Stir every so often, and cook quinoa for about 20-25 minutes just until the liquid absorbs. You don’t want it completely dried out, so when there is just a TINY amount of liquid left in the pot, remove it from heat and put a lid on it. Set it aside, and make the rest of the salad.

2. In a food processor, add your spinach and cilantro. Make sure to wash you greens. 

3. Process the greens until they are finely diced. You can do this by hand as well if you don’t have a food processor.

4. Add the greens to a bowl, and set aside. Next take your onion and garlic and finely dice those (I do this in the food processor to), and add to the greens mixture. Next add your chickpeas and stir until everything is combined and coated. If the quinoa is cooled, you can add it to the chickpea mixture next.

5. Make your dressing by whisking all the ingredients together. Pour over salad, and mix until combined. Add in tomatoes and avocado and mix. Set in fridge for about 10-15 minutes before serving so the flavors set.