That's right. We have moved on to the throat Chakra. My feelings towards this one vary from excitement to fear.
Have you ever had the feeling that there is something you need to do? No particular reason for it, but you know it's just something you should do? If you're like me you might run it by your fears first:
"How will I make money if I leave this job?"
"Who will love me if I leave my boyfriend?"
"If I stop running, will I gain weight?"
"What if I say no (which is what I really want to say) and then my friends don't like me anymore?"
These questions are symptomatic of one who leads with fear not FAITH. Something I'm trying to change as I move into the next chapter of my life.
How can you not??? Is a question that now pops up for me when I look at guidance and willpower. I'll do my best to illustrate.
example 1: Boyfriend number 1 - we got to a point in our relationship in which we were together simply out of comfort. I had this feeling (ahem guidance) that I should break up with him...but I didn't, in fear that I would lose something so comfortable. So what happened? As I've written before, I cheated on him multiple times until our relationship came to a painful end.
There is never a perfect time for change. Don't wait for it...it won't come. If you make the change yourself, you will feel alive again. It will be worth it.
example 2: Career number 1 - I've always wanted to be an actress. So, after graduating from college I followed the American Dream and moved to L.A. to become a star. After a two year struggle with energy sucking people, talentless schemers, and slave driving side jobs I started to get this feeling that maybe I should leave Los Angeles. So what happened? I didn't trust Divine will. "I will not be a failure" I kept telling myself, loading on the self-judgement. But the Divine had another plan for me. I got sick, got into 3 huge car accidents, and got robbed. Finally I surrendered to Divine will and moved away.
After leaving Los Angeles, I felt lost and I felt like a loser. I didn't know what to do with my life. I was embarrassed but I must admit I also felt relieved. I spent some months in total confusion, with no set career path or ambitions. This is when life got FUCKING awesome.
I knew I couldn't sit at home all day in my parents' house so I got a job in retail at lululemon. One day one of my leaders at the store took me out to lunch to meet a yoga instructor. "She's badass," I remember her saying. And she was. She was more than badass, she was and is a walking talking inspiration. I had always contemplated teaching yoga but fear (that trusty bastard) always chimed "you won't make enough money." After lunch we took Rebecca's class at Karmany and I was hooked. Three months later I signed up for teacher training with Ana Forrest.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm scared and I'm nervous. Fear is making it's best attempts "You won't ever be as good as Amber or Rebecca." But I'm also pretty damn excited. And it took some courage. And it took a LOT of willpower; It took giving up coffee!!!
I'm sure my parents would rather me be a doctor or a lawyer. There are people who ask, "You went to Stanford, and you're going to be a Yoga Teacher??" Fuck yeah I am.
How can I not follow my dream???
Be honest with yourself...say the things you need to say, do what you need to do. Trust your intuition, and surrender to the Divine. Even if you don't believe in anything...surrender. We only get one life, make it BADASS!
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