Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Like a thief in the night.

It's everywhere in our society. It's permeated through media, school, gasp even the yoga room!

Comparison. I remember one of my very first writing assignments in English class was to write a comparison paper. Why are we so obsessed with comparing everything...comparing ourselves...to everything?!

I'm meeting with a group of wonderful women every Sunday.  I don't know how to describe it; it's a book club/private yoga class/potluck party - women who are striving to {live out loud}. LOL is what we call it. And it's been amazing. We've had break-throughs, break-downs, we've faced fears and discussed issues that plague us.

Today I'd like to share a post I made in our private group. I offer it because I feel that we could all benefit from taking a closer look at this comparison business.

In the book the group is reading (I'm not reading the book currently because I have about 20 I need to get through for my certification...but I WILL!). there is a quote that was shared with me. I was asked to write about it, and it's like it came to me straight from the Universe...because its exactly what I need to work on.

                                                         "Comparison is the thief of joy"

So this quote...it really resonates with me. I had to mull it over for a few hours because there is so much I could say, but I want to make it short and sweet. I compare myself daily...probably every second, every moment to everything! I've written a blog about this before...how my comparison eventually turns in to competition...something I have a very unhealthy relationship with. I've found this in my teaching lately, as much as I hate to admit it. I compare myself...how many students do the other teachers have, look how much better Rebecca speaks to this, look how much better Amber demo's this pose...look at how both of their practices are so much more advanced then mine, and this starts stealing all of my joy because I revert to self mutilation like "How can I even teach piking when I can't even do it myself...." enter self doubt....

Ana (Forrest) says the first step to healing and change is acknowledgement. I still revert to my habits often, but I can start changing by being present (activating my feet) when I catch myself doing something that doesn't serve me. How quickly the amazing yoga-high buzz that comes from teaching an awesome class fades when I start to compare myself to others. So I've been catching myself...daily. Even in the little things. I'll ask myself, so why did I feel the need to compare just now...I dig deep...hmm do I feel that I am not worthy of feeling this happy?...go deeper... am I worried that savoring this moment will result in no more moments like these? And I try to get to the source of my comparison. Some day's I don't get that far, I only get so far as acknowledging what I just did. 


I challenge ya'll to start observing when you compare yourself...and to get curious about why. Often it's associated with a sacred-contract lie we've made to ourselves (we're not good enough etc). Which is totally bullsh*t!!

Consider that you are enough just as you are. Because it's true. Even your imperfections, they make you - YOU!

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